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He just needs his teammates to
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Being a Dallas Cowboys fan in Germany Amari Cooper Jersey White , I lead a pretty solitary football existence. That means I have to make a conscious effort to connect with other football people, which I like to do by calling random folks after Cowboys wins. Which is what I did after the Eagles game, when I dialed 215-263-WMGK for Philadelphia’s classic rock radio station.“Hello?””Hey, Jason Kelce here.”No response. The one-year dynasty that is the Philadelphia Eagles must not be a big thing in Philly. So I press on.”I’d like to request a song for the Noontime Nuggets.””Sure Jason, which song would you like?”“Fair Weather Friends by Don Williams.”“Sure. You want a shout out for your place of work?” ”Yep. It’s called Fear The Star,” I continue. I may never hear it announced, but I like to think that hearing “Next up is Fair Weather Friends, requested by Jason Kelce at Fear The Star,” is bound to have a few people in Philly sit up straighter. As I entered the office on Monday, I knew it was going to be a very Cowboys day.The first thing I did was walk down to the marketing department and pay a visit to each product team. But instead of talking to them, I simply stood there and clapped, occasionally nodding my head in rhythm to my clapping for the over-performing teams, and looking grim and determined while clapping the under-performing teams forward.Folks soon joined me in clapping.It think it is because I am The Mighty Clapper.It has nothing to do with me being their boss, of course.My office is on the eighth floor. On most days I nod my head in a silent tribute to Troy Aikman when I exit the elevator. But on Monday, I had to honor Jaylon Smith’s four-tackle game against the Eagles, which requires two tributes, because 2x4=8. So I execute a perfect-form swipe as I exit the elevator. That’s the first four.For the second four Womens Michael Gallup Jersey , I throw up the X. Right in front of the HR Director’s office. She looks at me funny.But I do not care, for today I am The Godbacker. On a whim I decide not to engage the puny human with a most muscular bodybuilding pose, and simply move on.I enter my office and take a seat at my desk. You know how a lot of people have pictures of their family on their desk at work?I don’t.Instead, I have five bulldozers on my desk, neatly numbered 77, 52, 72, 70, 71.People think I’m weird.I switch on my computer. Turns out my system password has expired, so I have to enter a new password.“fear the star”Your password must contain at least one capital letter.“Fear The Star”No spaces allowed.“FearTheStar”Your password must contain at least one number.“FearTheStar88”Your password has been accepted.I rock.In 2012, Kevin Ogletree had his one and only great game for the Cowboys in the season opener against the Giants, when he hauled in eight passes for 114 yards and two TDs. The next day, I asked our building manager to bring me an ogletree for my office. The dude brought me a ficus which he tried to pass off as an ogletree. I played along. After the 2012 season, when Ogletree left for Tampa Bay, I called my building manager again and told him to ship the Ogletree to our Florida office. He said it would be a huge hassle to get a living tree through customs. I told him I didn’t care and to get it done pronto. I am the boss and do not like being questioned.Before he came to pick up the tree, I tied a note to it. “Fear The Star.”I’m guessing there were a lot of puzzled faces in our Florida office in 2012.Now I have a new plant in my office. It’s a bonsai. I affectionately call it the Beasley Tree.Nobody understands this.I have recently made it a point of watering the bonsai during team meetings every Monday, which people think is odd. Especially because when I’m watering that Beasley Tree Demarcus Lawrence Jersey , I tell the gathered hoi polloi that I’m going to “put some sauce on it.”You know how coaches like to talk about how football can give you valuable life lessons?I have taken lots of life lessons from football.For example, after watching opposing quarterbacks repeatedly lose the battle against the setting sun at AT&T stadium in afternoon games, I decided last fall to rearrange my office furniture. I am now sitting with my back to the setting sun. On Monday, I checked what time the sun sets in Frankfurt, Germany, this week. 4:45 pm.I immediately rearranged my calendar and move all the meetings I don’t like to 4:45 pm.The sun is also a star.Fear the star.We used to have a French guy in charge of our logistics department. When he moved on, he was replaced by another French guy. Then that guy also moved on. And was replaced by yet another French guy. It’s like somebody whispered “Bloody Mary” into a mirror three times and now we’re cursed or something.So I treat the guy with all the respect due the undead. Which is why, when I saw him exiting the elevator, I make my best Dean Winchester face and whistle “Carry On Wayward Son” in the hopes that it will scare him off.It doesn’t.He makes a beeline straight at me. ”Bonjour, ‘ow was le weekend?”I have stopped whistling, but mentally I’m still on the bridge before the final chorus of Wayward Son, so I say nothing. So he proceeds to tell me what a great weekend he had, but I’m not really listening because I’ve decided to do an extended version of Wayward Son. Once he’s done with his monologue about some weird wine-tasting thing, he asks me what I did over the weekend.”I bathed in a sea of Eagles tears.””You bazed in ze what?””Carry on my wayward son.”He looks confused. Which I take as my cue to go into my office and lock the door.There’ll be peace when he is gone.My extension at work is 336.Which means I’m some kind of mixture between QB Mike White (3), DB Chidobe Awuzie (33), former RB Bo Scarbrough (who last wore 36 before he was released), and punter Chris Jones (6).I call administration.“I need a new number.”“What do you mean you need a new number?”“336 sucks. I want 214.”“Well Womens Dak Prescott Jersey , we’d have to change that in all our directories.”“I don’t care, do it.”The privilege of bossdom.Now I get a lot of calls from people wanting to know if their mail has arrived. Turns out, 214 used to be the number for the mail room - should have thought that through in a little more detail. But it’s a small price to pay for the pleasure I get whenever I see 214 light up.Last year, my son started playing football for a local team, the Bad Homburg Sentinels. He plays safety, and every time he tackles an opponent, he leans down and whispers in that guy’s ear, “fear the star.”The Sentinels don’t have a star in their logo, of course, but I’m okay with him spreading the message anyway.My son’s birthday is coming up, so I was expecting a call from my ex-wife any day. Today is the day. I pick up the phone. It’s her.“Listen, why did you change your number,” she asks in a voice meant to convey that I have made her life more miserable once again. “It’s a football thing.” Silence. But I know exactly what’s happening.“You’re rolling your eyes,” I say.“How did you know that?” It’s the number one affliction of ex-wives. One day she will detach a retina if she continues to roll her eyes like that. “Lucky guess.”Gotta stay on her good side for when my son unwraps his Cowboys gear at his birthday party.If you enjoyed this, you might also enjoy the previous iterations of these posts (Part I, Part II, Part III Demarcus Lawrence Jersey White , Part IV, Part V, Part VI) After catching 11 passes and being targeted 15 times in his first game since breaking an ankle 11 months ago, New York Giants star Odell Beckham Jr. was admittedly sore.The NFL's highest-paid receiver was also happy about his game, optimistic about the future, and even a little impish in dealing with his nearby locker room buddy, Saquon Barkley.For a night, the 25-year-old Beckham walked off with the ball the No. 2 overall draft pick carried on his first NFL touchdown, a 68-yard run against the Jacksonville Jaguars in a 20-15 loss.When asked about the ball Thursday, Beckham kept the joke going."No, that's at my house. It's gone already," he quipped as the Giants continued preparations for a Sunday night game in Dallas. "No, I gave it back to him. It's funny how just being in the locker room, it's like your brother and you're joking around with him. Next thing you know, it's across the entire world. It really was nothing more than me just messing around with my boys. I gave him his ball back."Beckham grinned after finishing the sentence, another sign the 25-year-old is enjoying a second chance to play the game he loves after a serious injury to his left ankle.Barkley confirmed he has the ball."There was no way I was not getting that ball back," Barkley said.Looking back on Sunday Womens Amari Cooper Jersey , Beckham said there were some things that could have been better: The precision and depth of his routes, particularly one post route where he was a little off and Eli Manning could not connect with him in the end zone.It was a first-game thing.Beckham is excited about the new offense that features Barkley in the backfield and has tight end Evan Engram and receiver Sterling Shepard. All are capable of making big plays."We're always one play away," Beckham said. "It can be any second of the game. Like you saw him (Barkley) take it 68 yards. That's what he does. A slant, we're going 60. Evan is liable to go at any time. I get on Shep all the time: It's time for you to start taking these slants to the house. It's a one-play-away offense."Beckham is the focal point of it. He says he will gladly take 15 targets every game and the resulting hits that go along with it.He also won't mind if the Cowboys interfere with him the way the Jags did. He drew interference calls of 30 and 15 yards late in the second quarter to set up a field goal.Beckham insisted both plays would have gone for touchdowns had the Jags not used the "Hack-a-Shaq" defense.For those interested, he does have a special touchdown celebration planned. He also can't wait to win again."There's no feeling like winning," said Beckham, whose last win was at the end of the 2016 season. "Just the overall feeling of everybody in the locker room and knowing we did what we had to do. We'll live on this moment for a little bit. Cool, and then get back to work. Everybody here wants to win, and we know the importance of this game. We know you don't want to get 0-2, and start the season off that way, even though it is a long season. You just want to start fast and finish fast, and finish strong, too."Beckham has already started fast. He just needs his teammates to catch up.NOTES: CB Janoris Jenkins left the field just before the start of practice because of a family emergency, the team said. Teammates and coaches seemed to be offering support as he returned to the locker room. Jenkins had an interception Sunday. ... Shepard returned to practice after sitting out Wednesday with back spasms. ... LB Olivier Vernon (ankle) did not practice. ... LB Tae Davis (hamstring) and RB Wayne Gallman (knee) were limited. ... Barkley had communications with Cowboys running back and former Big Ten Conference opponent Ezekiel Elliott after Sunday's game. "He texted me saying congratulations on the touchdown run and the start of the season."
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